Should I text my ex?
When you're asking this, it usually feels urgent.
Like this moment matters more than the others.
That's when pausing matters most.
Before you decide, pause for a second.
Take a breath before you decide
Inhale slowly. Exhale fully.
A few things to notice
You don't need to answer these out loud.
Are you calm right now, or reacting to a feeling?
Has enough time passed since you last spoke?
If you wait a day, will this still feel necessary?
Most regret doesn't come from what we say — it comes from when we say it.
Why this question comes up
- •Something reminded you of them
- •You're feeling lonely
- •You want closure or clarity
- •The silence feels heavy
None of that means you're wrong for wanting to reach out.
It just means this moment is charged.
Charged moments deserve a pause.
Waiting isn't the same as never
Waiting doesn't mean:
- •You'll never move on
- •You're weak for missing them
- •This is your last chance
It just means not right now.
Many people feel relief after waiting — even if they text later.
Common questions
Is it ever okay to text an ex?
There's no universal rule. What matters is your intention and emotional state when you send it.
Why do I regret texting my ex?
Messages to exes often come from nostalgia or loneliness rather than genuine need. Waiting helps clarify which it is.
How long should I wait before texting an ex?
Long enough that the urge isn't coming from a charged emotional moment. For some, that's hours. For others, days.
What if I just want closure?
Closure rarely comes from one more conversation. It usually comes from time and accepting that some things stay unresolved.
What if they've moved on?
Whether they've moved on or not, your decision to text should come from a calm place, not from fear or urgency.
Does no contact actually work?
No contact isn't about strategy. It's about giving yourself space to heal without the constant pull of communication.
What if I see them on social media?
Seeing them online often triggers the urge to reach out. That's normal. It doesn't mean you need to act on it right away.
How do I know if I'm ready to text them?
You're probably ready when the thought of texting doesn't feel urgent or emotionally charged anymore.
One last thing
If you're here, you're not doing anything wrong.
You're just trying to decide in a moment that feels heavy.
You don't need to solve it right now.
Pause first.